Hello to all, Hello to myself,

Today, I coached two youth basketball games.  One for my daughter, age 7.  And one for my 9 year old son.

My 9 year old, is not a sports person.  He does not like anything about sports.  But, every year we sign him up for some sort of sport or athletic activity (like karate).  He usually drudges his way through it… Sometimes kicking and screaming.  He has some happy moments, but those sporadic glimmers are usually related to goofing around with a teammate or when he accidentally scores a goal or makes a shot.  He has no desire to compete, no ambition to be the star player, and does not seem to have consideration for winning or losing…. these things are of no importance to him.

So my thought today… as I watched him come towards me on the bench, as I substituted another player in for him during today’s game, was “WHY DO WE DO THIS TO HIM?”  As he walks towards me, his eyes and face look down and bleak, his shoulders are hanging low, and his movement was a stagger of despair.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to pick him up in my arms and carry him out of the gym.  I wanted to ease his pain and whisk him away from anything that was in opposition to his pure and true happiness.

This is what I actually did...  I asked him if he was ok.  Of course, he said yes.  But, his aura was telling a different story.  I gave him a hug and I kissed him on the head.  I asked the assistant coach to take over for awhile and I took my son aside to talk about the importance of his happiness and the insignificance of this game.  We chatted for a little bit, I told him how dearly I loved him.  I asked him if he wanted to go back in the game or just sit with me.  He opted to relax with dad.  We sat on the bench with my arm around his shoulders until the game was over.

So back to my question… Why do we make him participate in these activities?

I don’t know.  My wife and I feel that there are numerous benefits from being socially engaged in such activities.  Sports can teach so many life lessons and values that we both consider to be positive and beneficial to children.  At the same time… I don’t know…

I want to support his growth as a person, as a member of something bigger than himself… At the same time… I don’t know…

On a side note:  I often think that this particular child is the most enlightened person that I know.  He lives so true to himself.  He is honest in participation with life and with all that he encounters.  I think all children have that virtue at some time.  My son carries it without thought, with mindfulness, with great love and compassion… he is one of my teachers and  I hope he is able to grow in the unique space that he occupies.  My wife and I need to foster it and be accepting of his gifts.

Thank you for being, Michael.