Hello to all, Hello to myself,

I know that my goal with this blog is to share my thoughts each day for one year, so I am at the computer trying to execute this objective.  Fingers at the ready.  But, I don’t feel like writing, I don’t feel like I have a thought worthy of sharing, I don’t feel like being with my thoughts at this moment.  Moreover, I don’t want or need to force myself to produce something for the sake of ‘doing’.  I just want to escape the mind and relax on the couch with my wife.

So, I am wondering if my ego is driving this motivation to not be present with my thoughts… (Probably!)  Or, am I just extremely calm and peacefully willing to accept that whatever ‘IS’ is okay…  (Probably not! I am not that enlightened)

In either case, why do I feel guilt about not writing something of substance?  Who do I think I am letting down?  Do I need to prove something?… If I were to write something about a simple daily thought(s) without genuinely vested thoughtfulness; am I proving the very opposite of my true objective?  Or, maybe sharing a simple thought is of equal value to sharing a ‘profound’ thought in this journey/exercise of mine.

Even though everything that I ‘think’ would generically be ‘my thought’ and thus a valid representation to include in this exercise of daily writings… I don’t know that all of my thoughts are a representation of the true nature of me.  And, I don’t want to write/share just to check off the day’s task.  I want to be thoughtful and mindful with my expression of thought.

When I ask all these questions to myself… the one underlying question that I come back to as my basis and foundation for what I am doing with this blog is… Am I being truthful with myself and you?

That is the one question that I want to answer correctly.

(FYI, This is the circular nature of my mental processing that prevents me from having the clarity of mind to share a thoughtful thought at this moment.)

I will apologize for not having a thought today, but at the same time I would rather not say anything than say nothing.

So in the future, if I don’t think that I have a thought worth sharing then what am I to do on that day?  Should I try harder, should I sit longer, should I accept the day as whatever it is… and check-in tomorrow?

I think I need to be more present with myself and listen.  Day 14 of 365…

Thank you for being, Michael.