Hello to all, Hello to myself,

Today is one month in the books on this 365 day “thought journey”.

I had a tough day in the realm of dealing with my ego.  It is funny… when I was an arrogant teenage punk, I had come up with one of my many ‘witty’ sayings… “Wherever I go, my ego-s.”  I would love to say that I have evolved since those juvenile days.

Maybe, I have evolved past the idea of thinking I am cool… Maybe, I have even evolved past the point of thinking that being cool is something that matters.  But, I have not evolved past the point of leaving behind my ego.

Early today, I finished reading “The Power of NOW” (by: Eckhart Tolle).  The last chapter talks about surrender and the acceptance of what is.  So, these concepts of awareness and practices of enlightenment where in the actual now of my life.  As my day continued, I tried to surrender to what ‘is’.

• At the recreation center, I was doing a cardio day.  I went for a 30 minute jog on the treadmill.  The facility was full of people.  The woman on the treadmill next to me was snapping her fingers to the music on her headphones.  When I heard the first loud, sharp click of her fingers… I thought to myself that this was an opportunity to practice my acceptance.  In my mind, I said, “you are a transparent being, and this snapping will go right through you… You are not a wall of resistance, you are open and it is what is…”  ///  I was supposed to go for a 40 minute run, but it turned into a 30 minute run, because I (my ego) could not tolerate the snapping…
• I was in a parking garage.  The garage was jam packed with cars; it was a frenzy.  I was adjusting the position of my vehicle within the parking space that I had selected, when a driver was trying to pull into a space across the aisle from me.  The driver and the passenger started to make aggressive and unfriendly gestures towards me.  They were under the assumption that I was going to fully back out of my space and hit their car.  I was not going to back out, I saw them clearly, and they were in no danger of an actual accident.  After parking my car, I went into the adjacent building, where I just reran the the scenario in the parking garage in my mind and I festered in resentment for the way these strangers made me feel.  I was aware that I should accept what ‘is’ and not focus negative emotions on what ‘was’.  Moreover, I was letting what ‘was’ take me away from being present in that moment… I spent a large part of the next hour in anger and resentment.

These examples, of the dominant role that my ego plays in my day, should seem like quite small things … And, they are small.  That is what is most outstanding… I cannot surrender to the little things of inconsequence.  My ego is in total control…

I may be 8.33% done with the ‘thought journey’, but sometimes I feel like I am only one step further down the path than my 20 year younger self.  (and, he was lost…)

Thank you for being, Michael.